Poem written by Srila Acharya Maharaj Atulananda when he took the order of renunciation.
Today is like wearing fire, like dressing up as Aurora
It is filling oneself with the future, filling oneself with hope
Today is the day of the beginning of consumption, it is the day when the fruit starts to ripen
It is the day when promises have more weight, the day when words means more
It is the day when virtue comes looking for you, to make you a man
This is the clothing of love, the party dress, it is the bridal gown
It is what you have yearned for, it is what you have ordained, it is what is pleasing to the Lord, it is what my guru is waiting for, it is the hope of both, it is your fruit, Oh, kalpa-vrksas!
Na danam, na janam, na sundarim…
Today I am born, today I bloom, today I am full of sun, today I begin to be received,
Today the fire will burn my impurity, today my beautiful Krishna will open His arms and invite me to shout war cries, to agitate my heart, to disturb my life as I move along the razor’s edge,
So many men and women are already seeking the same purity
So many men and women are tormenting themselves for the divine
They cried so much, they chanted so much, they prayed and danced so much, they left so much in the mouth of forgetfulness
Yes, many struggled so much to be what they have to be, to know what they have to know so that service to the self and the universal commitment may be fulfilled
Yes, Krsna is calling us, He has come to enchant us, He has made us listen to His melodious flute vibrating in the pages of shastra, in the voices of the masters, in the corners of our spirits
Sri Krsna has come, He as appeared at this time in our lives to put an end to the cycles, to rescue us from desire, to save us from lust …
Yes, may this be a bridal gown, the garment of divine commitment, of burning fire, may this be the uniform for those battles that give us the spoils of what is real and eternal
I want a pure life, a consecrated life, a blissful and wise life for me and for those around me
Like the song of the bird, like the rising of the sun, like the blessing of the rain that exist for their own good and for everyone
Today I am wearing this clothing, by grace, through inspiration and the support of my beloved brother, of my beloved brother and sisters, and in honor of those who have left,
How long did I have to wait for my insignificant and shameful consecration to bear fruit? How long did I have to wait to appreciate the greatness of renunciation?
The truth is that I wanted to take on your color, oh master, since I was young, but my poor heart knew that I was not ready for such bold and elevated bliss
New doors will open, new visions, new feelings, new perspectives, unknown to those who do not pull up the anchor, those rusty ones who do not seek Your solace, who do not surrender to Your protection, but in this there is no merit of mine. I have been thrown onto the lap of Your infinite grace!
The happiness of all of you is the approval of the Supreme, it is the blessing I need, it is the hallmark of my delayed commitment …
I am grateful to you, Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis,
Yes, I feel blessed by your support, and I ask that we go on trying together, that we continue knocking on the door of service to the mahantas, the only possibility and desire those who would like to do what is
right and what is our duty
It is what perfect and unlimited Love expects of us, it is why our Father and Mother created us to make us fulfill the essence of our lives,
Many thanks to everyone here, to those who have come from so far away and to those who were not able to come and to those trying to maintain their services, and many thanks for the invisible blessings of which this ignorant person is unaware …
Thanks to Srila Prabhupad, thanks to Srila Sridhar Maharaj, Srila Puri Maharaj, Srila Prabhupad Bhaktisidhanta, thanks to Srila Gaura Kishor das Babaji, thanks to Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, thanks to Gurudev Paramadvaiti, thanks to Srila Harijan Maharaj, thanks to our parampara, thanks to the Bhagavad Gita, thanks to Srimad Bhagavatam, thanks to Sri Chaitanya Charamrita and the other divine shastras, thanks to everyone, thank you, thank you …
Many thanks to each of you for your efforts, I want to tell you that I love every one of you very much, but that I would like to love you even more …
For that reason I am here, for that reason I chant and try to serve so that we may all be blessed, my own soul, my small family with their ancestors and their descendants, so that we may all be blessed, you with your families, ancestors and descendants and the entire universe, and just as Priyavatra Maharaj shone like a great sun and could not tolerate a single pocket of darkness in the universe, may every one of us shine with the love of service to the sankirtan of Mahaprabhu, and may we be motivated by it and by its blessing for ourselves and all creation.
With prayers to the feet of all present, so that your good souls may continue blessing my limited efforts.